Break it down

Galatians 5: 14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

The law. God’s law. Given to Moses. The ten commandments. Look at the last six. Honor your father and mother (Love your neighbor. . . this includes your parents). Do not murder (Love your neighbor as yourself. . . don’t be angry with your neighbor). Do not commit adultery (Love your neighbor. . . don’t lust upon her husband). Do not steal. (Love your neighbor. . . don’t take it because they won’t even miss it). Do not lie (Love your neighbor. . . don’t make up something). Do not covet (Love your neighbor. . . don’t keep up with the Jones’ . . .or the Goggins’ or whoever your neighbor might be!). The last six commandments are about our neighbors, our fellow man.

How can we love our neighbor as ourself if we are angry, lying, lustful thieves that don’t care what our parents say and want what everyone else has and can’t be content with our own lives? Yea, I stink at these, too. I’ll just address a couple of them (we could be here for hours if I talked about them all). . .

I have questions about the honor your father and mother. Who are my father and mother? Biologically speaking or figuratively? I do not dishonor anyone, but I don’t exactly acknowledge the honor thing. . . I’ll have to look into this. . .

I get angry. I get really angry. I have real anger issues. (I saw a shrink when I was younger, she said it was good to be angry and to express my anger, because if I held it in it would lead to depression. . . another story for another day. . . ). So, how do I deal with my anger? I pray. It is so hard to do when I am frustrated, but I am overcome with convictions from being angry. I don’t want to be angry. I don’t want to get angry. I don’t like being angry. I am mean when I am angry, but I’m working on it.

Galatians 5: 15If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

Sometimes, it is so easy to point out our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ’s faults. It is so appealing to point out someone else’s faults (especially since we ARE all Christians and we should be held accountable). But are we holding each other accountable or are we tearing apart the kingdom of Christ. Are they really faults or do we just consider them faults because it isn’t in OUR plan? If I am a follower and proclaimer of Jesus Christ and YOU are a follower and proclaimer of Jesus Christ, then why do we point out each other’s apparent wrong doings (?SIN?) to other believers? Shouldn’t we be working together?

If God calls you to a ministry, who am I to judge if that is the right ministry for you? If you feel God leading you to make a decision, who am I to question that decision? Just because it is not the decision that I would make, does that mean you are wrong for making that decision?

Eight weeks

Here’s to the next eight weeks. Eight more weeks in this semester of school. And only one more semester after this one! Praise God! I have truly enjoyed the last couple of weeks off from school. I will be so excited when I graduate and can spend more time with my family!

Cali has been peeing in the potty for the past few days (since I have been off work). She’s been pooping in the potty since about this time last year, but we haven’t pushed the issue of peeing in the potty (especially since her MDO class this year didn’t consistently potty train). Hopefully, she will keep it up when I go back to work.

Kate is growing up so fast. She is still in love with her kitten, Strawberry. She drags her all over the house playing with her. If she colors, the cat is in her lap watching. If she’s watching a movie, the cat is right beside her watching it with her. If she’s doing puzzles. . . well, you get my drift. We’ve been working on reading and writing activities. She does a good job reading and writing when SHE wants to do a good job; otherwise, she acts like she doesn’t know a letter from a number. . . Where does she get this stubbornness?

Will is well. He actually saw me for the last few days. AND I washed all the clothes and sheets, cleaned the house, scrubbed the girls bathroom and stayed up late watching LOCKED UP with him a couple of nights. Hopefully, he will survive for the next eight weeks without quality time with me. . .

Me? I'll let you know after Tuesday--

Am I trying to please YOU or God?

It is so hard to not get caught up in worldly things when living in the world. (Like, where else would I live, Mars?). How can I be an example and let Christ’s light shine through me without trying to please the world. I mean after all, if I am trying to be a godly example and make people see Christ, then shouldn’t I please them and not make them feel guilty for their actions?

It is so hard to give the, “God loves you and He wants what’s best for you speech”. After all, Satan came to steal, kill, and destroy and right now, Satan is doing just that. We are at war. Not in Iraq or Iran. Here, in the United States, right now. We are at war in our houses, in our families, in our jobs, and in our friendships. Satan is infiltrating our lives. He is trying so hard to strengthen his army. I am so glad that I am on the WINNING SIDE of the war by following Christ.

Why do I pretend that knowing Christ is all love and butterflies? It’s not. It will be, but it’s not. My life is not perfect because I follow Christ. Nor do I know anyone’s life that is perfect because they follow Christ. I still have bills to pay, sick children, financial needs, and other needs that need to be met. I fail miserably as a wife, mother, friend, and nurse. But I am confident that my eternal home is secure. (I am also confident that God provides for ALL of my needs in Jesus Christ, even though it is not the way that I plan it!)

Sharing Christ so that others have an eternal security with Christ is difficult. I am sure that many false conversions begin this way. “Please, ask Jesus to forgive you for your ‘sins’ and to live in your heart.” Seriously? People think that’s all it takes to become a Christian? You think that all a person needs to do is to repeat some heartless prayer and POOF! they get a free ticket in to heaven? Come on people. No one should be that ignorant. No one should water down God’s word and His gift of eternal life to introduce someone to Jesus Christ. If you do, just don’t bother. Their heart isn’t ready. Yes, Jesus wants everyone to come to a knowing relationship with him (2 Peter 3:9), but you can’t pick and choose the parts you want to accept and follow (or share).

There’s a difference in living like the world to reach the world and living like Christ to reach the world. Oh, how easy it is to confuse the two. I feel myself wanting to please people so often. Why do I care if people like me or accept me? I shouldn’t. I should only care that I am being a reflection of Christ (and I sure do fail at this). So, as I spend my next four days off from work and school, I hope to begin this change. I hope to make my actions and words pleasing to God, not to others.

Galatians 1: 10Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Cali's first REAL haircut

My baby girl still doesn’t have much hair on her head at all, but at least it isn’t so pitiful looking now. . .

I cannot imagine what my baby girl was going through when she had these…

As much as I love spending time with them, does it really need to be while she’s sleep deprived on Benadryl? Not really quality time for either of us.

But now that she is over it and off the Benadryl (Praise God!), can she fall asleep before 9 pm at night?!?!?!?

I know I have said it before

but, these verses lay heavily on my heart for my children. . .

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. ~ Philippians 1:9-11

Happy 18th Wedding Anniversary!

I had the privilege of watching Marion’s kids for a few hours Monday night, May 4th. It was Marion and Brian’s 18th wedding anniversary! WootWoot! I am so grateful that she let me watch them. Olivia and Cameron (their oldest) are the biggest help with the kids and Baby Daniel is a Gerber baby. He is 11 months old now and weighs as much as Cali! Here are a couple of pics from the evening.

FOUND KITTEN

Dreamy was in the girls bedroom. She came out this morning when they came out. Geez. She runs from them all day. Who would have thought she would be in their room? Well, Happy birthday to me! She's back!

MISSING CAT

It’s not Kate’s cat, Strawberry. It’s not the little 6 ounce kitten everyone was so worried about. It’s the other cat, Dreamy. The whole reason I even gave in to getting a cat- for a calico. Preferably, a calico that reminded me of my first cat, PawPee. PawPee was given to me by my grandmother’s friend, Jimmy. I was never allowed to have pets, but when I was going through some difficult times in my teenage years, he thought it would be a good idea for me to have a pet. So, he talked Nonnie in to letting me have a cat.
After having kids, I did not really want pets. I wanted to just spend time with my kids and a pet was just something else to take care of (and who has time for that!). I still only wanted to do this, but, the more Kate asked, the more willing I was to give in and get one. Under one condition, that it was a calico cat. Well, our neighbors cat had kittens, no calicos. Then, Marion called and said that her friend had found some kittens and guess what? One was a calico. Yay! So, we went over to see them and Kate didn’t care too much for the calico. She fell in love with the runt. Well, I didn’t want to take home the runt. I wanted the calico. So, we opted to take both kittens. They wouldn’t be as lonely. Kate and Cali both could have one. I would be so happy to have a calico (share her with Cali). She reminded me so much of my first kitten. I even found old pictures of my cat and showed them to Will, the girls, and Marion. It made me think about Nonnie. It made me think about how much I missed her. It made me remember how much she loved me and wanted me to be happy. It reminded me how I loved something and cared for something for the first time in my life (big step for me). It reminded me of the pain that I was going through at the time. It reminded me that PawPee was my only honest form of therapy at the time. My brother even stopped by here and got to see Dreamy. He thought she looked like PawPee,too.
So, we took them home. We named them (well, Kate and Cali named them). We bought them supplies ($100). We took them to the vet and paid their entire first year, plus this visit UP FRONT ($750). I come home from work today. Will had decorated for my birthday. The kids sang. We ate cake. The kids brushed their teeth and went to bed. Will left to go play tennis. I looked for Dreamy (mine and Cali’s cat). I couldn’t find her. I called Will. I’m sure he thought I was overreacting. No cat. No Dreamy. Never found tonight. Will has no idea what happened or where she is. He says he is pretty sure she couldn't have gotten out, but not 100%. What a happy birthday I will have tomorrow. She hasn’t even been here a week. If she got out, she won’t be back. She can’t find her way back. She’s too playful. She’ll probably be killed.
So, now, I am up typing this with a 6 ounce kitten in my lap. Why? Not because I like the kitten as much as everyone else. Because she is meowing and crying. She misses her sister. I enjoyed the moments of reminiscing that I had. Now I am mourning over the financial implications and over memories. Not from this kitten, Dreamy. She hasn’t been here long enough. Over the memories of my past, especially Nonnie. But, everything happens for a reason. Cali’s young. She won’t know the difference. Kate will be fine with it. She said Dreamy beat her cat up anyway. It’s one less mouth that Will has to feed. One less pee/poop Will has to clean. Guess we will see what tomorrow brings. I wish Will would stay home and help look for her. Not that she can be found. I just don’t feel like spending my birthday looking for my lost cat, to just not be able to find her. . .

It's over

The test is over. I passed. Thank you, Lord! I'm off to spend time with my kiddos. Oh, and Cali's cat's name is Dreamy. She named her.

Final Exam for this semester

My final exam for this semester is in the morning at about 10ish/1030ish. Pray that I do well. I am exhausted and sick. I am having MAJOR test anxiety-- don't know what that is about! Well, actually, I do. I am ready to be finished with school. I am ready to have my life back. I am ready to spend lots and lots of time with my kids. I am ready to not rush anybody into anything. I am ready to have some patience. I am ready for time to not matter as much. I want my family back. I miss them. I broke down and cried tonight. I can't study. I haven't been able to study for this finaly because of guilt. Guilt about NOT spending enough time with my kids. Guilt about being a sorry mommy that works all the time. Guilt about being guilty. God, I know this is what you want me to do. PLEASE, give me the strength and the wisdom to get through. . .